Return to our Souls...

T'shuvah... it's not what you think... T'shuvah is an interesting Hebrew word. It's most basic meaning is to return. Yet, it is more commonly used to imply repentance. Returning is not at all the same as repentance.

The Hebrew word for repentance is haratah. Furthermore, t'shuvah is not a synonym for haratah! In fact, haratah and t'shuvah are nearly polar opposites, according to the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson. "Haratah implies remorse or a feeling of guilt about the past and an intention to behave in a completely new way in the future," writes Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks. T'shuvah, on the other hand, means returning to home base, to one's original, good essence and true character.

T'shuvah acknowledges that temptation and letting down our guard might temporarily deflect our attention from being who we truly are, which is good, and that the mistakes and missteps do not change our inherent goodness. We do not become evil people because we err. Hatarah is required when one has become evil and exchanged their inherent good nature for bad intentions and actions, or when one's basic nature has been ruptured and warped in such a way as to come completely under the influence of bad things. That is when one would be required to make a full repentance and to start completely over.

T'shuvah calls us to simply return to our inherently good self, to rediscover and uncover that goodness which has always been within us. According to Genesis, we are born inherently good, with no "stain of original sin."  Our core essence is good–– to do and to be good. And sin, in the Hebrew context, is to simply miss the mark. It is an action/behavior, something we willfully choose to do, not a state of being with which we are born, as other religious traditions might claim.

So we look more deeply at t'shuvah, this simple concept of returning to our deepest core of goodness, and we can see that there is t'shuvah based in fear, and t'shuvah based in love. An example of a fear-based t'shuvah might be those who try to do good and be good people by a strict following of the rules, with a motivation based on the consequences of not following the rules. A love-inspired t'shuvah will manifest in positive actions and attitudes, in doing good, because it is who we are at our core, not because we are following rules and a rigid structure. A love-inspired t'shuvah will bring us joy. If we are choosing to do good out of guilt or we are miserable doing it, then our t'shuvah might be more fear-based.

In one of my college psychology classes, I recall the professor saying, "If you're going to do something, don't feel guilty about it; if you're going to feel guilty about it, then don't do it. Guilt is a wasted emotion." I think we can apply that same concept to t'shuvah. T'shuvah does not imply guilt; it implies reflection, and then a simple turning back towards who we are at our deepest core, returning home to our truest soul levels. Sometimes, we are not as far away from that as we might have been led to believe.

T'shuvah is also not about coming up short on our good actions and behaviors and feeling badly or guilty about it. In order to make true t'shuvah, in order to make our return home, we need to first own our inherent goodness, and then let that character essence inform our actions going forward.

These Ten Days of Awe(some) are about returning to our home base, our core essence, not about beating ourselves up because we aren't perfect and have made mistakes along the way.

My previous post about "Just two percent" also reflects this difference between haratah and t'shuvah in a more subtle yet practical way. As I wrote then, t'shuvah does not require us to be 180 degrees "more gooder" than last year.

Personally, I'm challenging myself to that two percent this new year... can I be two percent kinder and more thoughtful and considerate of others this year? Why yes, I can do that. When it comes to a few other issues, I am also looking at that two percent as manageable and doable, and I've already put it into action and the difference it has made in my head and heart are already loads more positive than anytime in the past I've tried to do one of those 180 degree changes! I can certainly attest to the fact that there is a significant difference in viewing t'shuvah as repentance, which it is not, and viewing is as a simple return.

T'shuvah. Returning to our core essence. And then challenging ourselves to a small, doable, two percent growth. Unburden yourself from the guilt, embrace your core goodness, and let's all let that goodness inspire our actions going forward!


May our fasts be easy and our Yom Kippur meaningful.