Letting the mud settle

This week’s portion of Beshalach is most famous, perhaps, for the miracle of splitting of the Red Sea. As the Israelites faced the Sea in front of them, with Pharaoh and his army charging from behind, the people had to make a choice.

The ancient Kabbalah text, the Zohar, reveals there were four reactions to the situation at the edge of the Red Sea. The first group said, “Let’s just jump into the sea. We’re done for anyway!” The second group said, “Let’s go back and surrender! Perhaps they will have mercy and take us back as slaves, but at least we will be alive.” The third group said, “We must fight! We haven't come this far just to give up and go back! Let's not go down without a fight!” The fourth option came from Moses himself, who said, “Let the Creator perform wonders for us.”

The first three are the most common reactions we experience when we face our own Red Sea, a challenge that seems all but insurmountable. Our first instincts are usually to give up, go back, or give in altogether! This is more commonly referred to today as "Fight, flight or fright syndrome." It’s built into our human nature.

We have a primitive instinct for survival, and that instinct tells us that we need to control people or the outcome of things. If we see a lion running towards us, we need to climb a tree or take shelter another way, and fast! We need our survival instincts. In a true survival situation, they serve us well.

There is a saying, “When in doubt, be still. Let the situation evolve around you. You can't push the river; let the mud settle.”

Truly, in our Torah scenario, the Hebrews could not push the river nor part the waters of the sea by their own hands. Yet, there is a big difference between being still and doing nothing. To be still and at peace amidst the chaos and confusion, allowing the circumstance to evolve so that we may eventually see a clearer picture is quite the opposite of doing nothing.

When faced with the impossible, instead of trying to control things, sometimes it’s an opportunity for us to consciously, mindfully let go. It is more of our human nature, though, at the first sign of trouble, to think, “I have to find a way to win! I have to control this situation or change this person!” Yet it is often our very human attempts to change the situation which serve to make it worse. More often than not, we find ourselves beating our heads against concrete walls, and the results aren't what we wanted, only terrible headaches.

The past several weeks have certainly had more than their fair share of these situations for me. I was incredibly excited about one possibility in particular. Without too many details, over the past 2 months I have spent a lot of time and effort into building an email chat list, where a certain group of people could join and we could begin having interactive conversations with one another.

I enjoy human connections and networks of like-minded people who actively communicate and converse with one another, be it in person, in meetings, through email, or through other media. So, I have wanted a way to "meet" and have spiritual chats with my fellow members of this particular spiritual association.

There is no ulterior motive beyond wanting to be connected with others who might share similar spiritual interests, and to be able to support and share with one another in our various endeavors. Yet, without a directory or email chat list which has interactivity, I am clueless how that is possible. And so, I set out to set up an interactive email chat list, spending hours of time researching possibilities. And I found a very simple solution, too! I was so excited to begin the conversations!

As wonderful as this sounds, it was not met with enthusiasm. After weeks of research and excitedly setting up a framework and paying for it, it fell through. Like the Hebrews who found themselves between the devil (Pharaoh) and the deep Red Sea in our Torah story, I finally had to concede that I simply needed to stop and let go. I needed to be still and let the situation evolve around me. I can't push the river.

At the end of the day, I finally realized that perhaps it was a waste of effort on my part to try and set up an email chat list if there are no others interested in interactive communication besides myself. I can't force people to have conversations, even if I could force the email chat list itself.

At the time of this writing, I am still here, at the edge of the sea. There has been no miraculous splitting of the sea. So it is time for me to simply sit by the river, and wait. Be still, and listen. To have the soul conversations with no one but myself and the Higher Soul, if need be. I must simply live in this liminal space, of being not-here-and-not-there, but in that Soul Space of Sacred Liminality.

This is where we find our Hebrews in this week's Torah story. They are no longer slaves, but they aren't yet quite free. They are in an impending predicament, but they must learn to be still and wait and trust that their answer will be made clear. The mud will settle.

It happened for them. I trust that my mud will also settle, and I will be okay with what is becoming clear.

And I hope that in your predicaments, you too, will learn to be still and let the mud settle.