Yom Kippur: Kol Nidre and Praying with Sinners

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On to today's post.....


As I prepare for Yom Kippur in a couple of days, as this lengthy journey of t'shuvah heads towards its final approach at cracking my heart of stone, all I can do is pray for strength to persevere.

Speaking of praying, for those of us who attend synagogue and pray from machzorim (special prayer books just for the annual High Holy Days) the first words we recite on Yom Kippur night, as we begin the culmination of our final 25 hours, are: “We declare it legal to pray with sinners.” To be more precise, we repeat it three times, and a different translation renders the phrase, “With the approval of the Omnipresent and with the approval of the congregation; in the convocation of the court above and in the convocation of the court below, we sanction prayer with the transgressors.”

One might ask, why would we open our prayers with that? And why three times?

The first time we recite the phrase, we are affirming our equal standing with one another gathered in community to pray. None of us has the right to stand in judgement of any other gathered there to pray. In that moment, in that first utterance, we affirm that we are all in human partnership, that we are all transgressors. Judging someone else creates distance and puts me in a higher place than someone else. I do not have that right to stand in a place of judgement.

The second time we recite this phrase, we dig a bit deeper. By saying this a second time, we are acknowledging that a community is made up of many disparate voices and opinions. If we all thought the same and held all the same opinions, we would have neither depth nor texture, and none of the healthy tension which holds a higher vibrational energy. Our holiest of texts are instructive precisely because they present opinions from all sides, not just one final answer.

There is a reason why Jews come in all kinds of variations, why we are not a creedal faith. We do not believe in a one size fits all (although a few do). One look at our rich, deep tradition and we find that the full range of opinions and interpretations have ALWAYS been a part of who we are. So our second recitation of this phrase about legally praying with sinners reminds us of this disparate variety truly being the heart and soul of Judaism.

In previous days perhaps we have viewed those with whom we disagree as wrong, as sinners because they think differently. May of us are often afflicted with "I am right and you are wrong" syndrome. On the night of Yom Kippur, that great night of Awe, we affirm, together, that those I have stood and pointed a finger towards, I am now willing to drop the pointing digit and get down to the real purpose of life. It is an affirmation of freedom for each of us to follow our own conscience, and to come together in prayer.

The third time we recite this phrase, we go deeper yet. The deeper we look, in the final analysis, we see that "the transgressors" with whom we pray is, in fact, ourselves. I am strong, and I am weak. I have good points, and I have character defects. I genuinely like part of who I am, and I am deeply uncomfortable with other parts of who I am and how I think and behave. I have amazingly good and generous and thoughtful intentions and inclinations, and I have disturbingly negative and selfish and unkind intentions and inclinations of which I am not proud.

This third recitation serves to remind me that I must not leave any of me behind when I come to pray, and to once again say, whatever my faults and doubts on this night, everyone is welcome to come and pray.

The phrase “By authority of or in the convocation of the court” came about as an assurance to those Jews of the Middle Ages who had been forced to convert but still wanted to come and pray in community for Yom Kippur. This prayer assured them that they had permission both from heaven above and from the community here on earth to pray with their fellow Jews.

This affirmation today can welcome all of us who feel burdened by guilt and the sense of being unworthy to join with our community. The Talmud says that, on a fast day, no prayer will be accepted unless sinners join in.

It's nice to know I will be in good company on a day with such holy purpose and focus. This year, I needed to feel this level of acceptance. It is already built into our Kol Nidre liturgy on Yom Kippur evening.

For those so doing, may your fast be easy, and may we hear our own prayers to be restored to wholeness and purity and goodness.