Epictetus and Vice Admiral James Stockdale, part 1

Epictetus was born nearly 2,000 years ago in Hierapolis (present-day Pamukkale in Turkey) as a slave in a wealthy household. Epaphroditus, his owner, gave him the permission to pursue liberal studies and therein Epictetus discovered philosophy through the Stoic Musonius Rufus who became his teacher and mentor. Later, Epictetus obtained his freedom shortly after emperor Nero’s death and started teaching philosophy in Rome for nearly 25 years. This lasted until Emperor Domitian famously banished all philosophers in Rome. Epictetus fled to Nicopolis in Greece where he founded a philosophy school and taught there until his death.

Epictetus’ strong and wide-ranging influences have been many. Marcus Aurelius, in his book, Meditations, thanks his teacher Junius Rusticus for introducing him to Epictetus. Albert Ellis, the psychologist who founded Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, was greatly influenced by Epictetus. Interestingly enough, Epictetus never actually wrote anything down. It is through his student Arrian that we have a written account of his lessons at all. And if everyone from Emperors to war heroes have been grateful as they found guidance, solace and strength in Epictetus’ lessons, then there is certainly something important for all of us here.

One of my personal heroes, Retired Vice Admiral James Stockdale, a prisoner of war in Vietnam for over 7 years, credits Epictetus for providing him with a framework in which to endure the tortures he was subjected to. He would remind himself that Epictetus would say in regards to this, “Sickness is a hindrance to the body, but not to your ability to choose, unless that is your choice. Lameness is a hindrance to the leg, but not to your ability to choose. Say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens, then you will see such obstacles as hindrances to something else, but not to yourself.”

In describing his seven and a half years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam, the late Vice Admiral James B. Stockdale has said: "In that atmosphere of death and hopelessness, stripped of the niceties, the amenities of civilization, my ideas on life and leadership crystallized." Despite torture, intimidation, and isolation, Stockdale fulfilled his duties as senior officer among the prisoners with intelligence and courage, defining rules of conduct and maintaining morale. He often described the intense pressures of that situation as a "melting" experience, in which preconceived feelings, fears, and bias melt way, as one comes to realize that, under the gun, you must grow or fail—or, in some cases, grow or die.

His book, Thoughts of a Philosophical Fighter Pilot, is a collection of his essays and speeches from the 1980s and 1990s, and reinforces how that experience formed a lifelong basis for his philosophical thought on issues of character, leadership, integrity, personal and public virtue, and ethics. The selections in this volume all reflect, in one way or another, a central theme: how one can rise with dignity to prevail in the face of adversity.

Often referred to as the Stockdale Paradox, Jim Collins has said, “You must retain faith that you can prevail to greatness in the end, while retaining the discipline to confront the brutal facts of your current reality.” Collins interviewed the late Admiral Stockdale, who described the critical paradox of maintaining faith and hope while remaining disciplined and realistic about present conditions, no matter how brutal.  Collins was inspired, and the story crystallized his thinking about realistic optimism as a pathway to greatness in the workplace.

What Stockdale learned from Epictetus was that happiness demands that we differentiate between what is, and is not within our control. Yes, we should try to influence fate, but we can’t control it. So when fate strikes, the measure of a person is their reaction to fate. This is reminiscent of Victor Frankl’s claim that we find meaning through our response to life. In short, we can either accept what we can’t change or be miserable. Epictetus, like Stockdale, tells us to do the former. Once again, this is a hallmark of 12 Step spirituality.

For Epictetus, emotions were acts of will. Fear was not something that came out of the shadows of the night and enveloped you; he charged you with the total responsibility of starting it, stopping it, and also controlling it. Epictetus had it right 2000 years ago – “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”