Freedom From... Kvetching?

We are solidly in that period of time when we begin our Passover preparations in earnest. Passover is both the most-celebrated Jewish holiday of the year, and also the holiday voted most likely to elicit a grimace, a groan, a kvetch. The dietary requirements… the preparations… the weight gain for many… oy vey the work, the family, the celebration, the lengthy seder…. Why then, do so many more Jews celebrate Passover than any other Jewish holiday? Is it because we like our misery?

Some posit that the real irony behind the insistence on the celebration and the kvetching is that in some ways, this is exactly what we’re “supposed” to feel at this time of year: Passover is a celebration of spring, of birth and rebirth, of a journey from slavery to freedom, and also of taking responsibility for yourself, the community, and the world. And as with all responsibility, none of this gets done without at least a bit of moaning and groaning and kvetching about it all.

The Hebrews complained of their ancient enslavement in Egypt more than 3,300 years ago, and they also groaned their entire way through the wilderness walking into freedom. They complained when they didn’t have what they wanted, and they complained just as loudly when they got exactly what they claimed they desired! Of all things, we hear them kvetching their way in the wilderness, missing the garlic and onions and leeks of Egypt!

Moses grew tired of their complaining, and at one point, near the end of their journey and his life, he lashed back at them, and it was at that point that he was forbidden to enter the Promised Land. While most look at this as a punishment to Moses, my personal take is that G!d was finally relieving Moses of his onerous burden of cat herding an ungrateful people who weren’t happy no matter what. Slavery? Groan. Freedom? Oh but we miss the onions and garlic! Our food is tasteless and bland, and this manna? Man, uh, what the heck is it? Where’s the water? Where’s the beef?

Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch. Always with the kvetching.

A song from the 1980’s comes to mind. It is by a Christian musician, which I normally would not post here, but he hits the truth of the matter with a bit of comedy when it comes to our Passover journey. Take a look:

So you wanna go back to Egypt
Where it’s warm and secure
Are sorry you bought the one way ticket
When you thought you were sure
You wanted to live in the land of promise
But now it’s getting so hard
Are you sorry youre out here in the desert
Instead of your own back yard

Eating leaks and onions by the Nile

Ooh what breath for dining out in style
Ooh, my life’s on the skids
Building the pyramids

Well there’s nothing do but travel
And we sure travel a lot
’Cause it’s hard to keep your feet from moving
When the sand gets so hot
And in the morning it’s manna hotcakes
We snack on manna all day
And we sure had a winner last night for dinner
Flaming manna souffle

Well we once complained for something new to munch
The ground opened up and had some of us for lunch
Ooh, such fire and smoke
Can’t G!d even take a joke? Huh? NO!

So you wanna go back to Egypt
Where your friends wait for you
You can throw a big party and tell the whole gang

That what they said was all true
And this Moses acts like a big shot
Who does he think that he is?
Well it’s true that G!d works lots of miracles
But Moses thinks they’re all his

Oh we’re having so much trouble even now
Why’d he get so mad about that c-c-c-cow (that golden cow)
Moses seems rather idle
He just sits around, he just sits around and writes the Bible

Oh, Moses, put down your pen!
What? Oh no, manna again?
Oh, manna waffles
Manna burgers
Manna bagels?
Fillet of manna
Manna patty
BaManna bread!

Songwriters: Keith Gordon Green / Melody Green
So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

(If you’d like to hear it, you can go here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJvwTQ-1SK0 )

(While I do not agree with any part of the theology and ideology he pushed, I do like the song.)

So it seems that this kvetching kvetching kvetching is part of the human condition. But maybe, it doesn’t have to be. And maybe Passover can be a reminder to us about the kvetching. A time to ask, “What purpose does the kvetching serve?”

If kvetching actually moves us out of the darkness, the tight, restricted, confined spaces in which we find ourselves, the mitzrayim of our souls, then we must follow that kvetching by asking what we can do and what we’re willing to do to shift the situation. And then, we do it. We make it happen.

And here’s the important part: while we’re doing whatever we can to shift the situation, while we’re making whatever shifts happen to move ourselves out of slavery and constriction and darkness, we focus on what we are grateful for. Sometimes, that is the shift we can make. We stop the kvetching. If kvetching moves us from inaction to action, it is useful. If it does not, then we drop it. The answer to the question about what we can do is never nothing. Even if it’s “only” making a shift in our attitude, that is, in itself, a significant something.

If the answer to the question of what we are willing to do to shift the situation is nothing, then we have nowhere to go. We stay stuck in out soul mitzrayim. There is always some tiny shift we can make. Something. Even Holocaust survivors shifted their thinking and made the most out of a horrific situation while there, and continued to live life fully when they were finally free. Because they understood the gift of that freedom. Do we? Or do we too often take it for granted?

Over the years, I have made decisions many times to move myself further out of my slavery, my soul mitzrayim, out of my stucknesses. It is never an easy journey, and sadly, sometimes I have not extricated myself as well as I would have liked. I’ve done the best I could, yes, but, I live with the regrets of not having had the skills to be better than I was.

Even so, now I am free. At least, more free than I was before. That’s why it is a  journey through the wilderness. I am not in the slavery which used to bind me. Yet what do I do? I still find a way to sometimes choose to be miserable, to kvetch and moan and groan and be upset with the new responsibilities I have taken on because I had the courage to move out of my soul mitzrayim.

While this kvetching might be an authentically Jewish way of doing things, it’s not the best way. I can learn from the mistakes of my ancestors. Just because they kvetched their way from slavery into a new-slavery-of-their-own-kvetching, I don’t have to choose to do that. In every moment, I have the FREEDOM to choose to find the gifts of that freedom. I have the freedom to choose between kvetching and celebrating. Even in my new responsibilities, which are sometimes overwhelming, this is still a far better way of living than before. To kvetch about it is to be ungrateful for it.

I know a few people who seem to thrive on kvetching. We likely all can name a few of those. Some have the kvetching so bound up to their way of thinking that they can’t even see it. There is a point where I have simply learned to let it remind me of how I have too often been too negative and complain-y in my own life. I hated mitzrayim, but oh lord did I miss those onions!

Today, I can choose to be grateful. Today, I can choose to celebrate the gift of responsibility that comes of my own choice to move out of slavery and into freedom. Today, I can choose to find the gifts, the gratitudes, the happiness of being free from that which had bound me for so long. Kvetching binds me; finding the goodness sets me free.

Will you join me on the Freedom train? The Freedom train runs on the fuel of gratitude and the fire of passion to find a better way.

Will you join me on the Freedom train? It runs on the clarity of mind and the tiniest shift in thinking.

Will you join me on the Freedom train? It chugs over mountain and through valley, towards the land of Opportunity and Potential that lie full steam ahead.

Will you join me on the Freedom train? Will you lay down your burdens of mitzrayim and dance in the aisles of movement towards freedom and a better way?

Will you join me, my friend, on the Freedom train? The journey might be long and arduous, but I know it is worth it. We might miss the onions, but tasteless food eaten in Freedom is far better than flavorful food eaten in mitzrayim. Even the King Solomon said, “Better to eat a dry crust of bread with peace of mind than have a banquet in a house full of trouble.” and “Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred.” (Proverbs 17:1 and 15:17)

Oh that our Passovers would be celebrations of freedom rather than encumbrances of complaining.... What shift might we need to make in our thinking?

Will you join me, my friend, on the Freedom train?