What are important qualities for someone in the helping professions?

As some of you might know, I've been in various iterations of the helping professions for many decades. Over the years of counseling, pastoral ministry, and other kinds of helping professions and leadership roles, I picked up a few ideas about what qualities are important for those in the helping profession, and here are the ones which seem to me are the most important:

1. Empathy and compassion, being truly able to imagine what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes. Compassion and empathy help others feel understood and heard.
2. A high personal standard of ethics and morals, and a foundational spirituality lived on a daily basis, not just given lip service. In other words, to practice what I preach. This does not, however, demand perfection or living on a pedestal.
3. Creative problem-solving skills. While it is not up to me to solve others’ problems, I must be able to help others identify issues, and be available to support, encourage, listen, and bounce ideas off of. Sometimes, this takes thinking outside the box.
4. Build rapport. This includes giving undivided attention and the ability to cultivate trust.
5. Flexibility, and the ability to adapt and change the way I respond to meet the person where they are and not have a one size fits all approach. Not to be rigid in thinking there is only one answer, one right way.
6. Excellent communication skills, a natural ability to listen and be able to clearly explain my ideas and thoughts to others. This includes deep, active listening skills, including verbal and non-verbal attentiveness. Taking into account content, delivery, and context, as well as what lurks between the lines; what is said as well as what is not being said.
7. Self-awareness is the ability to identify my own social/spiritual/psychological/emotional needs and obtain them in appropriate and timely ways (self-care). This ability prevents my issues from affecting or conflicting with others’, as well as prevent personal burn-out.
8. Have good boundaries. Similar to the one listed above, this prevents others’ emotions and issues from affecting me, so it’s beneficial for both of us, and makes the relationship trustworthy and safe. It also safeguards against taking things too personally. (Definitely working on this one!)
9. A multicultural, multi-spiritual worldview, understanding others regardless of their race, ethnicity, religious or political beliefs, socioeconomic background, etc.
10. The ability to challenge, reassure, motivate, and inspire others, and to know when and how each is best employed.
11. Basic organizational skills, including prioritizing and timekeeping. Failure to be organized or showing up on time can result in appearing unprofessional, and create chaos or bad feelings from others who might perceive it is being unimportant or not a priority.
12. A sustained commitment to facilitating positive transformation and human-to-human connections.
13. Teaching skills that bring in the element of fun and enjoyment to the process of learning.
14. Having a beginner’s mind, remembering that others are on a different level with matters of faith, spirituality, and discussions of deeper issues. Being open to learning from others as much as teaching them.
15. Cultivating a non-reactive stance, and learning the difference between observation and evaluation without judgement, another especially challenging on for me. (I'm a work in progress.)
16. Recognizing and being able to communicate when things aren’t working, and the willingness to work towards creative, workable options.
17. Being a safe container, able to hear some uncomfortable, difficult, and often traumatic stories without falling apart.
18. A good sense of humor, and when it is appropriate, and not, to use. Humor and a nuanced understanding of its uses is a valuable skill.



Perhaps something in this list might be helpful to you. Perhaps you can find in here your strengths, and maybe a quality or two to work on deepening in the coming year. For in reality, we are all here to be helpers.