Living with the discomfort of ambiguity and uncertainty

Our Torah portion this week, Re'eh, does not advance the notion of both/and, of living with the discomfort of ambiguity and uncertainty, flexibility and inclusiveness, these AND these. Instead, it is filled with stark contrasts of either/or, black/white, this OR that.

“I set before you this day a blessing and a curse.” We are blessed if we obey the commandments. We are cursed if we stray and go after other unfamiliar gods. (Deuteronomy 11:26-28)

According to Deuteronomy, the Israelites were given the Land of Israel to possess conditionally. The terms of possession, enumerated in this week's portion, included the commandment to utterly destroy all of the places of worship of the people whom the Israelites would dispossess, most specifically the Canaanites. The instructions were to overthrow these other altars, break their pillars, burn their wooden asherot, and hew down their carvings. If the Israelites obeyed and eradicated all traces of these other religions, then they could remain in the Land. If not, they would be exiled from the Land. (12:2-7)

Stark, rigid, inflexible, self-righteous, judgmental, intolerant. Texts such as these in the portion Re’eh provide a very solid basis for those inclined to intolerant self-righteousness. The rabbis attempted to temper the fanaticism of Deuteronomy by explaining that the Canaanites were extremely sinful and corrupt, thereby exonerating the Israelites' destructive behavior towards them. Furthermore, the rabbis taught, because such severe behavior is not commanded of other peoples, the Canaanites were surely uniquely deserving of being eradicated.

With our 21st century eyes, for the Israelites (or at least the leaders) to have believed that their allegiance to and covenant with G!d was morally superior to their neighbors’ communities seems so unbelievable! That the Israelites identified some notion of "divine will and retribution" with their own temporal, humanly-constructed concepts of holiness and righteousness causes us to blanch and even start wars when these kinds of strict self-righteous ideologies play out in our world today.

And yet, if we look in stark honesty within ourselves, are there not times when we behave in inflexible, rigid, self-righteous, intolerable, judgmental ways, thinking ourselves morally or politically or spiritually superior? Furthermore, don't we often expect perfection, strength, and godly behavior at all times from others while allowing ourselves to be imperfect, fragile humans?

Re'eh reminds us that self-righteousness, intolerance, and feeling superior to others results in some very negative things. It does not bring us blessings! It reminds us, by way of contrast, that when presented with the choice to send a blessing or a curse, always send a blessing, always BE a blessing. It reminds us that this stark contrast between absolute right and absolute wrong is played out within our deepest thoughts every day, and that learning to live with the discomfort of ambiguity and uncertainty, both/and, these AND these, and flexibility is the more challenging way to live.

I recently thought a friend was being inconsiderate and unthoughtful about a certain situation. However, when I heard the rest of the story, the parts unknown to me, I discovered this was not at all the case. In retrospect, I wish I had been able to simply live with the uncertainty and ambiguity of not knowing the full story. At least I can use this as a learning experience, and move forward from here.

One of my favorite quotes is, "If we knew someone's story, we would be filled with compassion." I have always found this to be the case! Byron Katie reminds us that in every anxiety we have about someone else, we should always ask ourselves 4 things: "Is it true? Can I absolutely know it's true? How do I react— what happens—when I believe this thought? Who would I be without this thought?" After these questions, she then tells us to "turn the thought around." Flip it 180 degrees!

In my own example, I forgot this method of self-inquiry, and instead let my mind get muddled in the midst of self-righteous thinking. I have now made the situation right again, and remain hopeful that I will not forget this lesson again for a long time to come.

We never know the whole story. We too often forget that others can be as "right" as we are. There is room for more than one "right" answer. Rather than draw conclusions, it is the greater part of valor to instead always send a blessing. Accept that these AND these can be true, that what I think I see and what I think I know is not the whole story. Being compassionate does not cost me a single penny, but will bring me, and the world, blessings.

This is a much more demanding way to live than taking it upon ourselves to tear down the altars and break the pillars of others. Perhaps the only altars and pillars we ought ever to even consider tearing down are the ones inside our own minds and hearts? Perhaps the deepest message of Re'eh is that the most dangerous stark contrasts of either/or, black/white, this OR that, aren't in what others are doing, but the thoughts inside our own heads and hearts?

In learning to live with uncertainty and ambiguity, we embrace the deeper message of blessing and cursing! Surely not an easy lesson, but one which will certainly make a significant difference in the world!